My Year in Books

I read 12 books this year. It doesn't sound like a lot, and I know it's not. I used to read nearly 12 books a semester for one English course. Life is very different now and the demands on my time are different. I was pretty intentional about the books I read. They're not all spectacular books, but there was a reason, whether random or logical, why I chose to read them. So in the order I read them, here they are:

1-5. The Selection Series: The Selection, The Elite, The One, The Heir, The Crown - Kiera Cass

I actually came across these books from the scholastic website. I was cross referencing some reading levels of books and came across this series. I did some searching online to see what the premise of them was. It sounded interesting enough to be some light entertainment reading so I started. Perhaps it was the girly girl inside of me, but I was pretty hooked. Before I knew it, I'd finished the three books in the first series as well as the two books in the second in about two months. They're described as Hunger Games meets The Bachelor. That's accurate. 

6. The Pearl - Steinbeck

In 9th grade English, we were offered extra credit at the end of the year if we wanted to improve our grades for the last six weeks. Our extra credit was to read this book and write an essay after reflecting on...a theme(?) within the book. I can't remember the topic anymore, but that's what remains in my memory. Being a teenager, I didn't read the complete book, looked up some cliff notes, and wrote an essay that was probably really bad. I don't remember if I got the extra credit or not. 

Over 15 years later, I still remember this, and I decided to read it again. And I did. I read the whole book and I was left stunned. Do not underestimate this book by its "low" reading level or the length of the book. It is packed with thought provoking themes and "mind games." I found the ending quite creepy as an adult.

This is one of those books I would say I'm glad I read, but I don't think I could ever bring myself to read it again. 

7. The One Thing You'd Save - Linda Sue Park

This book caught my eye at the library. I was with my children looking at books in the children's section when I saw this book propped up on top of the shelves. The title intrigued me and I checked it out for myself to read. 

This book is probably written for anywhere from a 2nd-4th grade reading level depending on how advanced a student is. I love the emphasis on perspective in this book. Something important to one person may not seem important to someone else. It's the start of empathy. 

8. The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo - Taylor Jenkins Reid

One of my students mentioned to me in a lesson that she had borrowed this book from a friend to read. I'd heard of the title before but hadn't read the book. Out of curiosity, I read it myself. It was interesting, but had my student not mentioned it to me, I would have probably never thought to pick it up and read it myself. 

9. One Time - Sharon Creech 

I have loved Sharon Creech's books since I was in grade school. My all time favorite book is still Walk Two Moons. I've already written about why I love that book. I saw she had published this book rather recently so I wanted to read it and see what kind of impression it would leave on me. It was okay. I honestly didn't remember what the book was about since I read it almost six months ago. After a quick search online to refresh my memory, the vague plot line came back to me. Another one of those books being a nice read but not special. 

10. Boundaries - Henry Cloud and John Townsend 

I remember hearing about this book in college. A few people I knew were reading it or had read it. I didn't think much about it at the time. This summer, one of my friends told me she was reading it. I decided to read it as well and it turned out to be a great read. Since reading this book, I think I've found a lot of freedom in the way I live my life and make decisions. Much of this book seems like common sense. However, having it explained and written out gives it new perspective. Not only has this book helped me feel more in control of my life, but I feel like I can better manage my business and make decisions. I'm definitely a feelings-oriented person, but reading this book has helped me to see situations more logically and remove some of the feelings. 

There are a couple ideas within the book I don't agree with 100%, but the general premise of the book I think is helpful to understand the decisions we make, we should make, and why we make them. It is based on Biblical teachings so if you don't share perspective with me there, I can't fully recommend this book to you. 

11. Crying in H Mart - Michelle Zauner 

I read this book because I saw one friend post about it on Facebook. I'd heard about it and seen it elsewhere, but I didn't choose to read it until I saw my friend's post.  Honestly, it hit me differently than I thought it would from seeing the hype about this book. Before reading it, I think I thought I would relate more to her because we had experienced similar upbringings and experiences. After reading it, I think it made me realize even more what I never was able to experience: I never got to be an adult next to my mother. 

I could write a whole other blog solely on this, so I'll leave it be for now.

12. It Ends With Us - Colleen Hoover

This book probably ended up on many people's reading lists for 2022 even though it was published six years ago. That's the power of social media. I saw it recommended on a few other people's posts and thought I'd read it to see what the hype was. It's not your typical romance novel which I liked, and although the book is fiction, it is based off non-fiction people. 

This was one of those books for me where I was sad when it was over. I spent the whole book getting to know these characters and living their lives through a third-party lens, and then when the book ends, everything ends. It's that feeling of breaking up with someone except it's people in a book. I wanted to keep following along and seeing what would happen to them, but I can't because the book ended. 

And that's why authors write sequels. The sequel actually came out this year, but I can't justify purchasing books for fun reading like this, so as of today, I am still on the library waitlist for this book. It'll probably end up on next year's book list. :)

Any recommendations for next year? I don't plan these in advance. This list just made itself as the year passed. Always open to suggestions!

The Scars We Carry

My friend gave my daughter a pair of glittery shoes her daughters had outgrown when we were over for a playdate a while back. My daughter instantly loved them and wanted to wear them everywhere. When we got home, she wore them inside the house for the longest time. Then she started wearing them out and she'd wear them with pants, with dresses, with socks on her feet, barefoot. She wore them a lot.

The shoes have since lost their velcro stickiness and the little embellishments are coming off the toes, but she wore them a lot and she loved them a lot. 

After my friend gave my daughter the shoes and the kids were playing, I told my friend about my own shoe story because I had once wanted a similar pair. When I was younger, my dad took me shoe shopping. I was looking for a pair of dress shoes to wear to piano competitions and performances. Although not as fast as most, my feet were still growing and I needed new shoes periodically with my 1-2 piano competitions every year and seasonal recitals. At the store, I found a pair of shoes I liked but they didn't have my size in stock. I ended up purchasing a different pair of shoes.

Another time when all of us went shopping, I somehow ended up back in the shoe section to browse. They had the shoe I wanted and in my size. My dad said I could have them since they weren't here last time we came. He put them in the cart and we met up with my mom and my brother. When she saw the shoes in the cart, she started asking questions and getting angry. Why were we buying those shoes? Why did I need them? 

My dad responded by telling her they were the ones I wanted last time but they didn't have my size. Now they had my size, he was going to buy them. Then, they started arguing in the middle of an aisle at the store. My mom would take the shoes and put them on the shelf to the side. My dad took the shoes and put them back in the cart. My brother and I stood awkwardly to the side, not knowing what to do. 

I'm sure other people in the store were hearing and seeing what was happening. In my memory of the event, I vaguely see a person or two behind them as they notice the commotion in the aisle and walk away. Whether or not that is my memory being changed or if it actually happened, I will never know. 

In my head, I remember just removing the box of shoes from the cart myself and setting them aside on a nearby shelf. I remember saying to them I didn't want the shoes anymore just so they'd stop fighting in the middle of the store. I did not get the shoes. I had many pairs of beautiful shoes as I grew up, but none were the pink glittery flats I had eyed as a child and wanted at one point in my life. 

Not the exact ones, but something very similar. 

As parents, we will always shape our children to some degree to become versions of ourselves. Our children have the freedom to take what they want and leave the rest as they grow up and become individuals themselves, but the influence is undoubtedly there. Since then, I've found my own truth in the situation; my mother didn't like the shoes. She didn't like the way they looked, and she didn't want to buy them for me. 

Being a parent myself, I've had to remind myself of both spectrums. I do not buy my children everything they want. But I do think about their requests and sometimes, they get a random surprise or toy just because for absolutely no reason. I hope my children do not have the same scars I do when they grow up. 

I need to write this story into my daughter's journal. I want her to remember the auntie who gave her the glitter shoes she loved as a child. And I want her to remember fondly the joy she had when she wore those shoes. And maybe, someday, she will tell her stories to her own children. 

I got to watch my daughter’s face light up the way mine would have. It’s a different kind of joy. 

*sidenote: my daughter watched me cry as I wrote this blog. she didn't say anything. but part of me is so curious if/what she will remember from this moment*

The Fuzzy Yellow Diary

When I was in 2nd grade, I asked my mother for a fuzzy yellow diary from a school book order. She actually bought it for me.

I started writing in it when I was around nine years old. I wrote almost daily entries about what happened during my day. A lot of it was simple factual things. Sometimes, I would insert a little bit of opinion.

October 19, 1999: I got a 100 on my communities test and on my simple machines test.

So I was a pretty good student in 3rd grade....

December 13, 1999: I got a 67 for social studies.

...or not. 

December 30, 1999: Yesterday, I got a vase, a decoration, and a book of brainteasers.

I still have this vase, decoration, and probably the book of brainteasers although that one is not at my house. 

January 7, 2000: We get to use the internet today in PACE.

The internet must have been a very exciting thing in the year 2000.

January 18, 2000: Today I got to make kaleidoscopes [sic]. I also got to make a gallon guy. Tomorrow I am having a test.

Who remembers making gallon guys in school? Anybody? I learned my volume measurement equivalents from that. I can still picture it in my head. Counting all those cup fingers....

January 22, 2000: Today I did not have to go to Chinese school. That is good because...I can play with my doll house. I love my KALEIDOSCOPE. 

This kaleidoscope. I still remember it too. Made it out of a Pringle's can and an applesauce cup. My PACE teacher provided the mirrors to go inside and drilled the hole in the bottom of the can. I put little fake gems in mine. It made for a really pretty kaleidoscope. We wrapped the outside in a tessellation print we made on the computer. Mine was matted on pink construction paper. Is it strange I can remember all this in detail? Also, if you'd asked me how to spell kaleidoscope right off the bat today, there's a 99% chance I would not have spelled it right. Good for me for spelling it right in my diary as a nine year-old.

January 25, 2000: Today I went to PACE. It was really boring because we had to go on the internet. I want to shred those bad papers. 

Oops. The internet got boring again. Also, the extent of how bad those papers were was probably only to evade a scolding from my mom. They don't hold a candle to the "bad papers" in today's news. 😐 

Can we just take a minute to admire my cursive as a 9/10 year old? 

It's amazing looking back and reading these diary entries and being able to know exactly what I was referring to in them. Since this diary, I've kept 20 complete years of diary entries and it is still a habit I continue to this day. When friends used to come over to hang out during high school, they'd joke about finding my diary and reading it. I was never fearful of them finding my diary. It was the other journals and notebooks I wrote. My diary was just a summary of the day's events. 

This year, I stumbled across the exact same diary I had received as a grade-schooler on a website for sale. I bought it. I'm planning on saving it for my daughter when she's a little bit older, can write cohesively, and see if she wants to pen down some of her own thoughts. It's not the same color as mine, but the overall style is the same. Ironically, when I google "fuzzy yellow diary" I cannot find this one on any of the large major retailers, so it was kind of a stroke of luck to find it elsewhere. 

If you know my daughter, don't tell her about this. 🙊 I haven't chosen when to surprise her with it, but it won't be for a long while. 

The Present

It's been a while since I chose to allot time to sit down and blog. Things have happened. There are stories in my head I both want to tell and can tell. But lately, it's just been about living life a day at a time with my kids.

With all the rain lately, my kids have wanted to go outside and walk with their new umbrellas. I told them the umbrellas were not toys and they could not walk around inside the house waving them about. I have learned from my own experience that umbrellas will break faster than you can use them in the rain if they are played with indoors like toys.

These are their butterfly umbrellas from the Butterfly Palace in Branson. My daughter was the first one who wanted an umbrella. Ironically, when we checked the price on Amazon for one with the same design, the Butterfly Palace actually sold it for a lower price. We decided to get her one...and of course my son wanted one, too. We humored him this time, also because we were on vacation. As long as they listen to me and follow directions, these umbrellas should last a while....let's hope. 😬

My daughter loves collecting things on her walks. She came home with this array of colorful leaves one afternoon. She really has a keen eye for unique/pretty things. Maybe one day she'll become a designer. Although...when I showed her our photo book from our house renovations, she said to me, "I want the house to look like that [old] again!" This little designer needs a bit more practice...

This past weekend we took the kids to Scheel's for the first time. They really enjoyed the outdoor statues before even stepping foot inside the store. 

My daughter thought he was Santa and kept calling him so. I corrected her multiple times he was Abraham Lincoln, but she didn't process any of that. The store was pretty fun. Fish tanks, a wildlife diorama, candy shop, and of course, the Ferris wheel. Not a bad outing for the morning. 

We went out for lunch after at one of our favorite pho restaurants. It was a special treat since we are rarely on the other side of town as an entire family of four. My son however, wanted to slide down into the seat more than he wanted to eat his lunch. I always thought I'd be the parent who would discipline and have my child sit up nicely on the seat and eat his/her lunch.

He did end up completely under the table at one point....

I actually don't do that much. I'm the parent who would rather enjoy my lunch in peace and let my kids do their thing. As long as they're not wasting the food and splaying it all over the table and seats, I'll let them be. Eventually, he sat back up and finished most of his lunch upright. If it's one thing I learned, kids with a good temperament will eventually do what they're supposed to do when they're ready to do it. Otherwise...I shouldn't waste my breath. 

Anyone else have wiggly two year olds who end up underneath the table at restaurants? 

Life is a lot of work right now. But it's also a lot of fun. ☺

The Things We Remember

I was randomly reminiscing. And somehow I remembered things from my past which have been hidden away in files in my brain. Not forgotten, but not brought back often. I can't remember how we became friends. I don't actually remember talking to her at all in seventh grade, and then somehow in eighth grade, we became really good friends. 

We had first period health together. It was our most dreaded and most "entertaining" class. The boys were very immature and the girls were probably a little, if not more than a little, uncomfortable the entire semester. I remember we were learning about family units in the textbook, and she pointed to the picture of the blended family and then pointed her finger back at herself. 

My job lets me relive my middle school memories every now and then....

We became really close that year. I asked her if she and her mom would go bra shopping with me because it was probably time for me to "upgrade" from the ones my mom had gotten me in 6th grade so I could make it through changing in the locker rooms during gym without being half naked. Her mom drove us to the mall and then went off to shop on her own while my friend and I walked around ourselves. That wasn't how I imagined it, but it was all right. (As an adult being so far removed, thinking back on how I survived adolescence without my mother is unfathomable. I don't know how I made it to present day, but I know I don't want to do it again.)

We talked on the phone when she could sneak in a call. There were many calls which ended abruptly to avoid getting caught. There were a few times I went over to her house and we actually got to hang out. I was her piano accompanist that year. It was one way to get to her house and hang out after our rehearsal. We signed each other's yearbooks at the end of the year and said we'd be friends forever. 

In high school, we slowly began to drift apart. She had other friends she became closer to and I had mine. I do remember she helped me track down the locker combination of the guy I was dating at the time so I could put something in it to surprise him. He told me later he figured that's what she was doing because she stood by his locker for so long. She moved a few years later so we didn't graduate together. I don't think I've spoken to her in nearly 15 years. 

Friendship is special in how it evolves over time. We are not truly friends anymore given we do not know each other's lives beyond what is posted on social media. But I still cherish what we had. Seeing that these memories randomly come back to me and I can still remember exactly which classroom we had health class and the approximate locations of where we sat in reference to the room, it can't mean nothing. I wouldn't have made it through eighth grade without her.

Converted

I am known for my practicality and frugality. Over the years, my habits have morphed a bit to adapt to changing life stages and needs, but for the most part, these two words still describe me very well. Whenever I text my husband after a shopping trip whether for groceries or fun, he never seems too shocked. Apparently I'm not capable of spending an absurd amount of money that would actually scare him. 😂 I'll take it as a compliment. 

My husband bought me flowers this year for my birthday. Flowers have never been my "thing" because I always viewed them as spending money on something I'd throw away. So why bother? While there is truth to that, I failed to factor in a lot of other points. Fresh flowers add to the overall ambiance. They bring joy when you look at them. And they actually last a long time when you take care of them properly.

This photo was taken on day 17 of displaying this bouquet. Not bad, right? You can definitely tell they're not fresh flowers by any means, but they still bring a bright cheeriness. On the flip side, keeping fresh flowers for 17 days is no easy task. You need to cut the stems regularly, change the water regularly, and remove dying foliage to prolong the life of the blooms. It's like owning a temporary pet. 

But they do still contrast nicely to the mess spread out around the table. I've just come to accept that our kitchen table and counters have stuff on them. I've tried cleaning, really. But when there's two other people living in the same house as me who aren't nearly as responsible or careful and like to bring things from one room to the next and have no sense of putting things in their place, it makes keeping spaces neat and tidy impossible. Yes, that was a run-on sentence and I'm well aware of that. The awkwardness of that sentence further accentuates the futileness and energy-sucking-tendencies of trying to keep a neat house with little people running around. 

I still wouldn't purchase fresh flowers on a normal basis, but every now and then, I could see myself buying a bouquet, bringing out our vases from hibernation, and setting out a display for a short while. 💐

Household Helpers

Yesterday, I took my children out spontaneously for lunch to meet a friend. Because it was spontaneous, my friend was already at the restaurant so I asked her to order for us so the food would be ready when I arrived with my kids. I sent her our order, she ordered for us, I drove to the restaurant, and I Venmo-ed her the money after. I didn't even know how much the entrees were when I told her to order them. 

It wasn't absurdly high, but it was indeed more than eating at McDonald's or Chick-fil-A. While driving there, I was thinking to myself, I've made it in life. I can order food without looking at the price first. Just kidding. But only half kidding. 

The older I get the more I notice myself wanting specific items of a certain quality. Growing up, I was not taught this. We bought the cheapest items possible only when necessary and did without if we could. This mentality, although beneficial in certain circumstances, was also very unhealthy in others. I never learned to appreciate the value of quality, and I didn't discover the value of saving my sanity until I grew up and became an adult. 

Around the house, there are a lot of things we own which I appreciate and am glad we purchased. For this post specifically, I wanted to share a few items which have been very useful for us but are not considered big ticket items.

1. Stainless Steel Straws

We purchased stainless steel straws last year because our kids love using straws. Is it more work than plastic? Yes, it is. But in the long run, it is both eco-friendly and cost effective. The pack of straws we purchased came with a cleaning brush. This is a must have. Without it, I would completely nix this item because that is the only way I can clean them. Because they are stainless steel, I have on occasion put them into the dishwasher. I haven't gotten to the point where I carry a reusable straw with me wherever we go, but when we are at home, these are the ones my kids use. 

2. Handheld Bug Zapper

I can't tell you what a difference these have made in our lives. Mosquitoes get into our house 95% of the time during the summer. It's almost more than a one to one ratio of one mosquito entering the house per day in the summer. I feel much more equipped to kill them and less annoyed when they enter the house because I know if I see one, chances are, I can get it. I've also gotten better at maneuvering the amount of air the zapper disturbs as I zero in on the mosquito to zap. Those little buggers are quite sensitive and if they feel air movement, they will start to fly away. I had many opportunities this summer to hone my technique. 

3. Nice Bath Mats

Years ago when I was shopping at Ross, we picked up some bath mats pretty inexpensively. We've used them for a good number of years, but I was starting to get annoyed because the pile was worn down and less plush than it should have been. You see, we have other bath mats in the house which were more expensive and better quality, and with comparable use, they have remained plush and comfortable to step onto when exiting the bath/shower. So one day, I decided I wanted a new bath mat. At first, we went to Home Goods to see what they had. Believe it or not, they did not have a bath mat which met my expectations, and their prices were not very discounted from any other department store. Then I went to Costco and found a foam bath mat with fur on top. My husband did not like the fur on top, and it was quite expensive. A few days later, we went to Sam's and I found the perfect foam bath mat at the perfect price. For the rest of my life, I think I will only purchase quality foam bath mats because they are the easiest to clean and feel the most comfortable. 

4. Squeegee 

We've only suctioned it once and it's been on ever since! Impressive. 

We renovated our bathroom over five years ago now. After installing frameless shower glass, we needed a way to keep it clean. My husband was the one who introduced me to squeegeeing a shower to keep it clean longer. We had an old squeegee we bought when we first got married and were using. However, after we installed a brand new beautiful bathroom with a new large glass door, we needed to upgrade. Squeegees can be found for as low as $2 and they can range up to about $20. Check the material of the blade. It makes a huge difference. The most expensive one I found was $133! Insane. Ours was just under $20 and it has been worth every dollar. I can't tell you the last time I cleaned our shower glass, but I can tell you the last time we squeegeed it! 

I still wouldn't consider myself someone who would spend money willy-nilly, but I'm definitely realizing moments in life when I think to myself, "I really wish I had a ____________."

I think that's one of the reasons why I'm so glad I tracked my small appliance usage this year (still going!) because I've learned a lot about my cooking habits and which kitchen gadgets have paid themselves off in time and efficiency. I'm even allowing myself to buy some new ones. 😇. Stay tuned!