Two Decades of Grey: Overseas

I kind of got stuck after writing the previous part of this series. Do I know how the story continues? Of course I do. I lived it. But I got stuck because I wasn't sure how to share it in a way which was productive. Honestly, it was symbolic of this period of my life. I didn't love my grey hair, but it was becoming more and more a reality. I was now an adult, learning to live with it, but also still dyeing my hair consistently. 

My husband is not the first person to tell me he doesn't mind my grey hair. But he is the first person  I've believed. He's also the only person who has seen it in its full extent and still looks at me the exact same way. And even then, it took nearly a decade for me to get here. I dyed my hair for the better part of eight years of marriage. 

I wasn't ready to believe it before then. I didn't even  like it myself. How could I believe someone else?

**

When I lived overseas, I'd wake up in the morning and go to my bathroom to get ready in the morning. Because of the lighting of my bathroom - not great - it would appear like my grey hairs were gone. Even when I fussed around my roots, the greys would appear to be colored. I'd have a moment of shock, amazement, hope, and then I'd run to the mirror in a different light, and there they were again. It's like they literally reappeared after disappearing for a moment and tricking me. I still remember that elated, bubbly excited feeling as if something miraculous was happening. And of course the deflating feeling after when I saw them again. 

Even during these moments of false hope, I'd wonder to myself. What was I expecting, a miracle? Sure, it’s possible. I believe God is capable of taking away my grey hairs with the snap of a finger. But will He? I think He has bigger fish to fry. I don't think eliminating my grey hair is high up on His agenda. 

At the same time, if I wanted to give God the chance to perform this miracle, I had to stop hiding. I had to let it be for what it was, and if He ever wants to show Himself in this way, then He has the chance. 

When I lived overseas, it was the first time I saw younger girls with premature grey hair. And then I thought, it must be an Asian thing. So I felt less alone, but I still fit the category of a young Asian with premature grey.  I'd shared about my grey hair with my teammates early on. I even packed myself two boxes of hair dye to bring overseas. Later in the year when my hair was growing and the roots were showing again, one of my teammates even mentioned, "Oh, I thought you were exaggerating when you said you had grey hair. It's actually more than just a few."

Nope, I was not exaggerating. 

**

Having not colored my hair for over a year, I've learned that hair can re-pigment itself over time. Most of the hairs which are grey stay grey at the root. But every now and then, I see a hair that is grey in the middle and dark at the root. If I kept dyeing my hair every month whenever I started to see grey roots, I would have never have seen this for myself with my own hair. 

This is how I know God is capable of changing my hair color if He wanted to. Will He? I don't think so, and it's not because I doubt His power. It's because I understand the choices made as an Almighty Being must be made carefully. Every wish cannot be granted. Every prayer cannot be answered. When you know the ultimate outcome, you know every sequence it will take to get there.

Dressed to the Nines

When I was a sophomore in college, a friend at another school asked me to be his date for a formal. I said yes, and of course I went shopping and bought a new dress. I found it on sale and paid a great price for it. A few weeks before the formal, he told me it was being postponed. I was slightly disappointed, but he said he'd let me know when it would be rescheduled and see if I could still go. 

The following spring, he told me the formal was scheduled for February. However, he had started dating someone, and so had I. He still asked me if I wanted to go to formal with him since we had originally planned to go together before it was rescheduled, but I declined as it wouldn't feel right to since we both had significant others. 

I purchased this dress nearly 13 years ago. And sadly, I never got the chance to wear it. When I graduated from college, I did an unofficial senior photoshoot wearing this dress. My friend who tagged along ended up taking some photos herself and snapped this photo of me. 

She ended up being our wedding photographer (we were her very first wedding!) and is a well-established photographer now.

I had a lot of fun at the photoshoot, and the pictures I did receive bring back fun memories, but the dress was never showcased or seen by anyone other than the two of them. 

When I graduated from college, the dress moved back home with me and stayed in my closet for a year while I lived overseas. It stayed in my childhood closet when I moved back home. It migrated to our apartment with me after I got married and moved out. And finally, it came to our master bedroom closet when we purchased our first house together where it's been since. 

Occasionally, I found myself pulling out the dress, admiring it, trying it on, and lamenting the fact I would probably never get a chance to wear it in my life. The dress was long, black, and formal. How many occasions would I have to wear a dress like that again? 

2023 was going to be the year. I was asked to play piano at a wedding, and the wedding dress code was cocktail formal. Miraculously, the dress still fit. This was going to be possibly the one and only time I would ever wear this dress. 

My husband and I enjoyed our time at this wedding. We didn't bring the kids with us as kids weren't allowed, but we had wonderful friends who kept them overnight for us so we didn't have to pick them up late and drive all the way home. So this was the first wedding in a long time where we could feed ourselves without needing to keep children quiet or prevent them from spilling/breaking/dropping anything they weren't supposed to. 

The outdoor area was beautiful although I'm so glad they
changed it to an indoor wedding. Best decision ever. The high was 102. 

I waited 13 years for a chance to wear this dress. I would never have thought so in college, but I'm glad I didn't have anywhere to wear this dress until now. My first (and potentially last) time wearing this dress will be with my husband. There's no event more special than one I get to attend with him by my side.

Happy nine years to the absolute best person I could have ever chosen to spend my life with. 🥰

Forever Valentine

This is our 7th Valentine's Day together as a couple. Technically, I sent him a quick-sketch Valentine the year I was halfway around the world, ironically living in a very cold city with snow and ice for six months of the year. I spent part of it at an airport during an overnight layover and gave up a few hours of sleep to send him some messages. 

Without realizing it, I misnamed my own bear.  Kudos if you know what his name is supposed to be.
We joke that this was the beginning of the end of my love for bears.

He sent me a cute drawing back.

I got a heart! And...this was the beginning of my love for penguins.

I turned our goofy drawings into keychains 🙂

How did you guys meet?: We first met at a friend's birthday party. We briefly met each other and then that was the end of it. So we thought. I ran into him by chance a few months later at a friend's apartment complex, and then we figured we may as well be real friends so we friended each other on Facebook. :) 

First date: Unofficially, we had dinner together with just the two of us 9 years ago. A friend was supposed to join us, but he couldn't make it last minute. I asked him if he was okay just having dinner with me, and he said he was okay with it if I was. 

Officially, I flew to Houston the summer I came back from China and we had our first date as a couple. 

How long have you been together? 7.5 years!

Married? 6.5 years!

Age difference?: 1 month and 20 days

Who was interested first?: Me

Who is taller? He is.

Most patient?: He is.

Most sensitive?: Me, although he can be about certain things.

Loudest?: Probably me. But I think our daughter actually wins this one.

Most stubborn?: We're both pretty stubborn....but probably me.

Falls asleep first?: It depends on the night. Most of the time me.

Cooks better?: Me.

Better morning person?: I've exponentially gotten worse as a morning person and he's gotten quite a bit better. But I still function better in the morning.

Better driver?: We're both pretty good.

Most competitive?: Me?

Funniest?: We're both pretty funny in our own ways. Who do you think?

Where do you eat out most as a couple?: I can't remember the last time we ate out as a couple...😢

Who is more social?: Me.

How long did it take to get serious?: a few months? 

Who picks where you go to dinner?: We both do. 

Who is the first one to admit when they're wrong?: He does. 

Who wears the pants in the relationship?: We both do about different things.

Who has more tattoos?: Neither.

Who sings better?: Probably me.

Hogs the remote?: We're good at sharing.

Spends the most?: It evens out in the long run. Neither of us really spend much. 

Did you go to the same school?: Nope.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled as a couple? Romania!

Who drives when you are going somewhere together?: He does.

My forever Valentine 💖