The Costs of Growth

In March of 2024, I blogged about two plants I had. One was an aglaonema I purchased in the fall of 2023. The other was a calathea I purchased in March of 2024. Here's what they looked like in the spring of 2024.

They're quite pretty. Or...they used to be.

My aglaonema is on the left. The calathea is on the right. Both looked great, had healthy leaves, and seemed to be on their way to a healthy life. I've never considered myself a plant guru, but I figured some water and light would sustain these plants.

In the last 2-3 years, these plants have tested me a lot. My calathea struggled constantly with spider mites. Leaves would grow and then die. My aglaonema had its own set of issues. I realized the big box store had planted them with plastic cages around the roots. Upon realizing this, I had to un-cage each root and then repot it. Both plants came with self-watering pots which I learned work for neither plant. They had severe root rot and their death was impending. 

You want to see what they look like now? You scared? Yeah, I was scared too. 

They're still alive!

 

My plants are a shadow of what they used to be. However, they are still alive. Yup, that's right. They are still alive. That's not to say they didn't go through near-death experiences to grow again. My calathea has "died" twice. After the spider mites and root rot, I realized I had to basically start over if I wanted any chance of the plant surviving. I moved her to a terra cotta pot to better control water absorption and ended up cutting all of the leaves off and letting the plant re-grow completely. Was this risky? Absolutely. I knew there was a chance she wouldn't make it. And yet, if I sat back and did nothing differently, it was guaranteed death for this plant. After she started re-growing, I got excited to see new leaves bud. Little did I know, due to watering errors, she was going to cycle through death again and re-grow new leaves a third time. This is the plant you now see. There are a total of four leaves and another one emerging. 

My aglaonema had a near death experience in April of this year. After dropping nearly all of her leaves, I decided it was time to do some major surgery. I had done some research and found that this plant propogates pretty easily from nodes. However, my plant didn't have any nodes on the stems. I ended up cutting the plants about 2 inches beneath the leaves on the stem, dipping the stems in rooting hormone, and planting them in soil. I kept them this way for about a month. When I was getting ready to leave for a two-week trip, I decided to re-pot all the stems in one terra cotta pot in order to make it easier to water. My dad was helping me care for my plants when I was gone and I had told him there was a chance this one may not make it. 

After I came back from my trip, I saw new growth coming out of every stem. I wasn't expecting this because when I had re-potted the stems together, I examined them for roots. I had only seen roots on one stem so I was expecting at least 1-2 to die. 

Seeing new leaf buds brings me a lot of joy.

Taking care of my plants has taught me a lot about life. Especially these two. They have needs, but their needs can be particular. They need light, but too much, and the leaves will burn. They need water, but too much, and the roots will rot. Not all issues are visible from the outside. Root rot can only be found if you dig up the plant and look at the roots. Changes need to be made in order to foster new growth and better health. Research needs to be done so you can understand the signs your plant is communicating with you. Sometimes, change is drastic and risks the whole plant.  Sometimes, change is what it takes to help the plant grow healthier. All of this is work. It takes time and energy. 

It's a far away dream for me my plants will ever look the way they did in the first photograph. It's not impossible. If growth continues, they will eventually fill out again with leaves. Realistically though, it may take several years of continual healthy growth in order to return back to their original beauty.  For now, I'm focusing on keeping the growth going so they continue to grow new leaves. 

A Hairbrush

Who (women and ladies) just goes to the store and picks out a replacement hairbrush when it's time? If this is you, I commend your ability to do so because I cannot. I am far too particular to be able to just pick one. There are too many styles and types of hairbrushes out there.

When I say hairbrush, I just want a basic hairbrush to brush my hair with in the morning after I wake up. I'm not looking for anything to do fancy styling with or even a blowout brush. I really just want a basic hair brush that can be used for generally anything involving brushing my hair. 

About 10-11 years ago, I bought a hair brush to replace the one I had in college and have kept using it since. It met my needs. Since then, it has begun to die and break down. All the color which used to be on the tip of the bristles has disappeared.  The cushioning to which the bristles are attached to has cracked. Many of my bristles are missing in the corner with the crack. It started becoming common where I'd brush my hair and then see a bristle land in my sink. Or I'd hear something lightly ping on the floor, only to realize it was another bristle coming out of my hairbrush. 

A few years back I bought a replacement.  After buying this replacement, I learned a lot about hair brush materials and manufacturing technique. For my first hairbrush, the bristles were plastic. Each bristle however had a rounded tip. This tip was painted a different color, and the color wore off after years of use. But the tip stayed rounded. On my replacement hair brush, I saw a rounded tip which was also colored. After using it for a few weeks, I discovered that the rounded tip was not actually the tip of the bristle. It was a small drop of something added to the tip of each bristle which would fall off with use. This left an extremely pointed plastic bristle. Over time, brushing my hair with this hair brush felt like an intense scalp massage. Although I can see how some people may enjoy this, this was not the hair brushing experience I wanted every day. 

Because of the quick degeneration of this hair brush, I ended up simply going back to my original hair brush and the newer brush was left unused in my drawer. This went on for a while until my husband decided it was time to get me a proper hair brush which wasn't cracked and missing bristles and didn't feel like I was getting an intense scalp massage every time I brushed my hair.  

Oldest to Newest

The hairbrush he bought me was a one piece design. It is completely plastic. The bristles are integrated into the brush head which is connected to the handle. It's unlikely bristles will fall out of this brush, but I haven't used it long enough to see any true wear and tear yet. A few of the bristles have bent, but I think that is bound to happen given the materials and the nature of the function. This hairbrush is specifically not meant to be used with any heating tools or hair dryers because it is completely made of plastic. 

As I get older, I'm more conscientious about quality and materials. I've noticed changes in my hair texture and "personality." I've wondered if the type of hairbrush I use affects the quality of my hair care. I'm sure it does. I just haven't taken the time to really look into it.

My personality doesn't like to throw things away unless they are broken, dirty, or nonfunctional. I don't think my old hairbrush qualifies completely in either of these three categories which is why I've struggled to get rid of it. I did purposely save it long enough so I could capture an image for this blog and write about my hairbrush wisdom. There's a high chance when you are reading about these hairbrushes, I will have successfully trashed the oldest one.

If you have a hairbrush you absolutely love, please tell me which one it is! It just might be my next replacement 😉 

The Crippling Side of "Knowledge"

I'm going to write this blog as an entire hypothetical math/science problem because that's the simplest way I can explain it. All numbers are hypothetical and not meant to be informative or correct. 

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We have ABC Soap. You saw this cool video online showing you how make DIY foaming soap. You were told to use 30% soap and 70% water.  We mix 30% of ABC Soap with 70% water. We put it in a foaming dispenser and dispense it. It works. Yay! That was so easy! You can make your own DIY foaming soap and you don't have to pay a premium to buy the foaming one from the store.

Fast forward 2 years. You ended up having to move to a different state because your job relocated you. The store doesn't carry the brand ABC Soap. You find XYZ Soap which is a similar product. You go home, make your 30/70 mixture of soap to water, fill it in your foaming dispenser, and you have your foaming soap again!

Foreshadowing: XYZ Soap is less viscous than ABC Soap.  

Now, you invite some new friends over to your house as a housewarming party since your move. You're having a great time, but suddenly, one of them approaches you and says, "Hey, your foaming soap isn't really working. I can't get the chicken wing grease off my hands. What's going on with it?"

I asked AI to generate me an image and I got a kitchen sink basin in a bathroom setting.

You immediately get angry with this friend because it's your trusty DIY foaming soap method. You followed the instructions and immediately cancel this friend in your head because she doesn't like your soap. She's not getting invited back to your house ever again. Little do you know, the rest of the guests at your party are also not fans of your foaming soap, but they didn't bring it up to you. 

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If you're reading this and your brain is cranking, that's great! There's so many things to think about with regard to this story. First off, let's start with the soap. Did the video use ABC Soap when teaching you how to make foaming soap? Regardless if they did or didn't, there's a margin of error. What if you used a 35/65 ratio? What if you used a 25/75 ratio? Would they still have worked? Did it have to be that perfect 30/70? 

The biggest shortcoming in this story is that the main character ended up buying a different brand of soap after the move. Even though they followed the original ratio, if someone says she can't get the chicken wing grease off after washing her hands with soap...I think the logical conclusion is that there is something wrong with the soap. Of course, we are under the assumption that she isn't lying, used soap, and washed her hands correctly. If all of those factors are true, then all signs lead to the soap.

The main character refused to acknowledge the soap as the problem because the same ratio was used in making the foaming soap. But did this person think about the viscosity and feel of the soap before and after making it foam? Making your own foaming soap is not as easy as it seems because it depends on what your starting point is. The internet can only give you generic information because it is trying to appeal to a wide audience. If your liquid soap is more watery to begin with, you will need to add less water to make it foam. If your liquid soap is more thick to begin with, you will need to add more water to make it foam. The most important factor here isn't the percentage of soap to water at all. It's actually the dilution factor. Nobody labels dilution factors on packaging because if they did, we'd all feel scammed by how much water is in liquid soap.  Even though this character followed the instructions given, it wasn't enough knowledge to successfully accomplish the goal at hand. 

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I've used foaming soap as an example here to represent how someone can follow instructions and believe everything is "right" while still ending up in the wrong.  Our intelligence, however strong, still has to be coupled with experience and the ability to analyze. For this situation, I would ask this main question: did you use your own soap and experience its washing capabilities? 

Playing Cards

My kids have gotten into playing cards now. They love playing Go Fish, Crazy 8s, 3 Up 3 Down, and War. It's actually a lot of fun to play with them but I wish I had more energy. For some reason, sitting on the couch with them playing cards induces a sleepiness I never knew I possessed. I think the most logical explanation is that I'm constantly "on alert" as an adult, so for me to sit down and relax allows my body to feel tired, hence the sleepiness. Reading books to them used to do the same thing to me, but now that both my children know how to read on their own, I haven't read a book to them...in a while. 

Having my children playing cards resurfaced an old memory I had from a card game my grandfather taught me. He would deal out the cards in a Solitaire style with seven wells. The first well only had one card face up. The second well had one card face down and one card face up. The third well would have two cards face down and one card face up. Once 7 wells were dealt out in this same pattern, the remaining cards in the deck were all dealt face up evenly distributed between wells 2-7.  

Game Set Up. 

The cards are then linked by number and suit in order. Whatever cards are underneath the card to be moved must follow the card as you move cards between the columns. Face down cards can only be flipped if the whole column of face up cards are moved to connect into a different column. For the photo above, some viable moves would be moving the 8 of spades from column 2 underneath the 9 of spades in column 3. You can also move the Jack of diamonds from column 6 underneath the Queen of diamonds in column 4. Both these moves would result in being able to flip a card from the wells in column 2 and 6. Once a column was empty, you could move Kings into their place, but the maximum number of columns was 7.

I never learned the name of this game. It might be a Chinese name. But I loved playing as a child. The winning percentage of this game is extremely low. By a completely random shuffle, the odds of winning were less than 10%.  

Because this game was so difficult, I would sometimes continue the game by moving Kings into extra columns just to see if I could win the game that way. If I won with extra columns, it was nice, but it didn't feel as special. For the games I was able to win playing according to the actual rules, I made a wish.  

No more moves.

 

The closest game to this one I've found is a card game called Scorpion. The initial deal and playing rules are the most similar I've seen to the one my grandfather taught me. 

I can play Scorpion online if I wanted

 

I taught this game to my daughter one day when she said she was bored. It's a little too much for her to handle right now, but I hope one day she can enjoy this card game by herself and have fond memories of playing cards. 

Our House is Special

We've been in our house for 11 years! The journey of our house was a long five months, we lost a lot of houses I really wanted, but I believe we got the perfect house for us in the end. 

My daughter and I went on a walk after lunch recently on a Tuesday afternoon on one of her home school days. I wrote about why I love the school we go to, and being able to take walks with her in our neighborhood during the week is an example of the extra time she and I have gotten to spend together. On this particular day, we ran into a neighbor one street over.

This neighbor is an artist and she showed us her latest charcoal drawing. She talked to us about the birds in their yard, the flowers she planted, and we had a nice chat together. After saying goodbye, we kept walking. I waved to a neighbor mowing his lawn outside. I don't personally know him, but we frequently see him outside working in his yard.

As we came back around to our street, we walked about halfway home and ran into a neighbor, J, who has shared so many plants with us.  

She dropped this off for us this past Christmas.

As we got to her house, the neighbor across the street had just parked their car.  J called them over to our side of the street and introduced us to each other. After our brief meeting, J explained to me how they got into the neighborhood. Their parents and siblings were down a few streets over in another part. This house was the closest they could find for their other son whom I had just met. 

J and I talked and shared some life moments. I gave her the 5-minute synopsis of my latest and ongoing family stress. She shared with me her mother had just passed. We bonded over an eternal joy and hope which helps us to keep our eyes on the prize.  

As our conversation wrapped up, the neighbor who lives next to us was walking his dog by. I noticed only one dog. I asked if they had to say goodbye to Allie. They did. She was 15. After a brief conversation about plants, we both said goodbye to J and walked down the street to our houses. This neighbor is 79 and turning 80 in June. 

By the time my daughter and I returned home, it was nearly 2:30. Being that I start work in the afternoon and work through evening hours, I have to watch the time on my "fun" to make sure I can get to work on time. Although I wasn't late by any means, it was much later than I had anticipated on making it back home. Our walk lasted nearly an hour and it was getting hot outside. 

Although I returned home physically tired and a bit stressed at having to teach 4 hours of lessons that afternoon and evening, it was joyous. I love getting to walk through my neighborhood and smile at neighbors I know and have conversations with them and share life. I love feeling the comfort my neighbors bring when I see them and being able to enjoy their company. I don't take this for granted because I know not everyone has this or feels this way. I know I didn't grow up with it in either of the houses we lived in when I was a child. 

Our house is very special. 

It Ends With Me

Eating brought a lot of trauma for me as a child. I never thought of it as trauma until I became an adult and started to develop concerns with my own children's eating habits. Growing up, when I didn't finish my school lunch, I was reprimanded for something which was only partially in my control. I didn't have enough time to eat for one. I was a slow eater as a child. And what second-grader wanted to sit inside during recess to finish her lunch in solitude with a teacher? Um, no. It wasn't until 8th grade when I clearly remember being able to eat and finish my entire lunch at school. 

In elementary school, I'd arrive home after school and get grilled on how much of my lunch I finished. I bought school lunch so there wasn't a lunch box full of leftovers to be pored over. I used to draw pictures for my mom to show her how much of my lunch I had eaten, and most of the time, she'd always be disappointed, even when I thought I had eaten a good amount. 

These were the drawings of my childhood.

 
Now, my own child brings a lunch to school and I ask her in the car on the drive home if she finished her lunch. Most days, she tells me she did. Now, we pack her lunch so we're aware not to overload her with giant portions she can't finish in 20 minutes. Most of the time I expect her to finish her lunch because I know it wasn't actually a lot of food. 

Every now and then, she doesn't. One Friday, she told me she didn't finish her lunch because she had a birthday treat to eat. I asked her what it was: ice cream, in her favorite flavor, chocolate. Even without looking back at her (because I was driving) I could hear the joy in her voice as she told me about eating chocolate ice cream at school as a birthday treat. 

I actually felt it inside me, disappointment, as a parent, because she didn't finish her lunch. But hearing her talk about her ice cream was so special. I couldn't quash this moment for her. I didn't want to mar it with disappointment and sadness. So I didn't say anything. But I felt the pang of emotion - the emotion of wishing my mother had spared me from this trauma that lingers even decades later and knowing that holding myself back and not saying anything is against every fiber of my being. I can't change the way I feel about things like this, but I can change how my children will feel about these things years down the road.

Vintage Memories

For the Christmas of 2002, I received two Barbie dress sets. I had actually picked them out myself prior to Christmas. They were wrapped up and I opened them as my Christmas presents to partake in the joy of opening gifts on Christmas. 

Christmas 2002

 

I never actually liked Barbie dolls. I just wanted the accessories. For many childhood birthdays growing up, I picked Barbie play sets as my gifts. Instead of dolls, I used my stuffed animals to play in the play sets. The one aspect my stuffed animals couldn't truly experience was the Barbie clothes. Built for a slender-figured lady and not a round bear full of stuffing, I couldn't actually put my Barbie clothes on anything. Nevertheless, I still wanted some beautiful sets of Barbie clothes. I have the Barbie rotating closet, the one which came out in 1998. I have many articles of Barbie clothes stored in there as well as some accessories. However, there were three Barbie gowns/dresses which wouldn't fit into the closet because they were too long. 

 

My mother and I sat down one day and made our own mannequins for them out of clay. We used the plastic mold that came with the original packaging to mold three busts for the dresses. A chopstick was inserted into the bottom of the bust and attached to another mound of clay for the base. Inside the base, we added a coin for some weight to make sure the mannequin would stand up properly.  

 

 

 

Considering our net cost was basically zero (maybe cents if you count in the money used for weight...) since we already had all the materials, this was a fun solution for my childhood. However, nearly 25 years later, these Barbie dresses are now vintage. I wanted a more permanent and protective solution to display them. 

Even bringing these mannequins back to my own house, they would have been 
displayed out in the open which doesn't protect them enough for how old they are.
 

I asked my friends who have a 3d printer if they could print me 3 custom hangers for these dresses.  I was so excited when they arrived because they were so cute. I was also ecstatic because they fit. I had drawn up a sketch and provided measurements by using one of my children's fidget toys as a guide. The fact that they fit perfectly with my less than perfect geometry angles and measuring skills was a great surprise. (Maybe my math skills haven't rusted as much as I thought...)

 

Hangers!

 

Before I put everything together in the final display I was going for, I had to do some minor repairs. I had an old Barbie pearl necklace which probably doesn't actually go with any of these sets. However, I've included it with this dress because I don't have any other set it would pair well with. The elastic on this necklace was completely stretched out and ineffective. 

You can see how much extra elastic there was from where I cut it. 
It basically turned into a basic string.

 

I had so much extra beading string and wire from my daughter's hobbies so I took some clear cord and restrung these plastic pearls back.  

 

Good as new. Don't mind my leftover knot cord. 
I'm just happy it's secure and not overly loose. 

 

 

I purchased a shadow box frame to display all of these dresses in. This way, I had space not only to hang and display the dress, but I could also add the accessories to the side and keep the sets complete. Displaying the shoes was a little tricky. My first thought was to use the pins and hang the shoes off of them. While this worked for two pairs because of the straps on the shoes, It wasn't the most aesthetically pleasing.  

 

Our final solution was to use clear thumbtacks and clear museum gel to secure the shoes to the thumbtacks. After letting the gel cure properly and readjusting the shoes a few times during the curing process, they stayed upright!

 

 

Left: 2001 Barbie Fantasy Princess Gown 47605

Middle: 2002 Barbie Bridal Collection 68065

Right: 1999 Barbie Fashion Avenue 25755

This project turned out exactly how I thought it would. I'm so glad to be able to display these three complete sets and keep them protected for years to come. As I was going through this process and thinking how I wanted to update the displays for these dresses, it occurred to me that my mother isn't physically a part of any of the new display anymore. By removing the mannequins we made, it would be removing the final aspect linked to these dresses that she physically had a hand in. 

Although it is bittersweet to think about this project from that perspective, I think prioritizing longevity and protection of these dresses needs to take precedent over keeping the exact materials we used over two decades ago. Simply taking the mannequin stands and throwing them into a display box would not have done the sets justice in my opinion. This is why passing on the stories of the items we choose to keep and preserve and pass down are so important as well. When I see this display box with the three Barbie dresses, I see my mother. I remember the mannequins we made. And I remember how special she was and still is to me. Nobody else in the world can value these the way I do, but I can share the story to make this more than just a display. It's a memory.