Free Marketing

A college professor gave our entire class Randy Pausch's book, The Last Lecture when we graduated. (Fun fact: When Jonathan and I met, there were two books which we both coincidentally owned. This was one of them!) It was a quick but insightful read. He wrote a chapter about $100,000 salt and pepper shakers. I've always loved that chapter and remembered it because its lesson is very practical - Pay it forward. You never know what may come as a result. Here's my own rendition.

Last Tuesday, J and I made a spontaneous decision to go out at night after I finished teaching at 8:15 pm. We don't usually do this since most stores are close to closing by that time, but last Tuesday, I really felt the urge to need to go somewhere. I had spent all day Monday and all day Tuesday indoors and did not once leave the house - working from home problems, right? I know.

So we decided to trek out to one of the few places which does not close at 9 pm on a weekday that isn't a restaurant - Walmart. As we walked into the store, we passed by the usual array of machines that dispensed toys and candy for some number of quarters.



This time, as we glanced by, we both noticed one machine that had an assortment of panda bear erasers. We went over and decided that if I had three quarters in my wallet, we'd try and get one. Turns out, I did. So we put my quarters in and turned the knob. I flipped open the little door and there was no container inside with any bear. I was extremely disappointed and let down. The one time I decided to buy one, it jammed.

We noticed the phone number in the corner of the machine to call customer service. I called, and the voicemail that came up told me to go to their website to process a refund. We spent the rest of our Walmart trip slightly annoyed at having spent three quarters for nothing. It's more the principle than needing the toy itself, but let's be real, I really wanted to get a pink-colored panda eraser.

Once I arrived home, I immediately got on my computer, went to the website, and wrote their customer service a note about how I did not get what I had paid for from one of their machines. I was honest with what happened but poised in my words. Days passed and I received no reply. I figured they wouldn't respond and I wasn't getting my refund.

Today, I got the mail and saw a letter with three coin imprints on the outside of the envelope. When I looked closer and saw the sender, I realized that my message had been received and I was actually getting my refund!

Never have I been more ecstatic to receive three quarters.

Although bummed I did not get my panda eraser, I'm glad their customer service was responsive and responsible in getting this situation amended. I'm sure a few quarters may not seem like much, but to me it makes a world of difference. They've restored my faith in knowing that in the future, if we ever encounter an issue from their machines, they will follow through in sending refunds for machine errors.

Like most people, I've experienced my fair share of excellent customer service as well as horrible customer service. For the companies who have given me grief, I don't have high regards to speak about them. On the contrary, for the companies who have been kind in meeting my needs or exceeding my needs, I have nothing but free marketing for them.

Bus Number 63

About a week ago, my husband and I were going out to enjoy our evening together. As we waited at a traffic light, I saw a school bus drive up past us a few lanes over. It was bus number 63.

Bus 63

I rode this bus as a child.

When I was in fourth grade, they offered all of us in the top math class to take the fifth grade diagnostic test to see how well we would score. Three of us scored above 85 I believe on the fifth grade test, which was pretty impressive to be well above passing for the grade higher. The three of us were placed in a fifth grade math class for the rest of the year. Although I could handle it, math class was definitely a challenge that year.

We moved the summer after fourth grade. It was kind of unexpected and on the down low. I never really said goodbye to my friends...kind of slipped away silently. It was also just 15 minutes down the street. Unfortunately, that was enough for me to need to switch schools even though I was in the same district. When I started school that fall, they just gave me the normal schedule for a fifth grader. I was in a fifth grade math class, and it was boring. I don't remember who initiated or what instigated the change, but someone said something to the school which notified them I'd already taken a year of fifth grade math. After some special arrangements were made, I had a personal bus come pick me up at the elementary school about 2 pm everyday and drive me to the middle school for 7th period which was from about 2:40 pm to 3:30 pm. Just for the record, if you think 7 hours of school is long, I endured almost 8 hour school days for an entire year as a fifth grader, starting at 7:45 as an elementary student and ending at 3:30 as a middle school student.

I rode bus number 63. The driver was Mr. Bill. Almost everyday, he would pull the bus up the front of the school, I would notify the secretary that I was leaving, and then hop on to head off to the middle school. He would talk to me and tell me stories, and I would mostly listen as a shy 11 year old. It's from him that I learned about diamond mines in Arkansas. He was shocked I could not recognize Christina Aguilera or Britney Spears in pictures (because I'm pretty sure most 11-year-old girls at the time probably idolized them...). He was the one who told me about the neighborhood being built at the corner of two streets we used to drive by and how there were going to be approximately 200 homes. That neighborhood is now completely built up and over 10 years old. He always had his bus decorated for some occasion or with pictures and passed out candy to all his riders during the holidays, including me. I always got first dibs.

Sometimes, he would have other routes to drive and I would have other buses arranged to pick me up. Those drivers were never quite the same. They just picked me up and dropped me off. I also had to act as a GPS for them when they didn't know the route. So I definitely knew my directions as a child for all the necessary places - like how to get to my next class which happened to be at a different school.

I didn't see Mr. Bill very much after fifth grade. He drove a route for my middle school, (the same school he dropped me off at), but I didn't ride it. There was no bus to our house at the time because we were only 1.8 miles from the school. Sometimes he would see my brother and me walking home because we walked in the same direction his bus pulled out toward, and he would wave at me with both hands away from the steering wheel with big wide eyes and a goofy smile. 

I haven't seen him in almost 15 years now. Last I heard, he cut his long, wavy, red-orange hair and was moving because he got offered an office job. I was happy for him, but I knew his kids would miss him. He was one of the happiest and kindest people.

But I saw his bus.

The 14th Year

When I was 13, I wrote my mother a letter. In this letter I told her my secrets I'd never said aloud including my 13-year-old boy problems. Mothers have intuition and know things, but I'm sure she would have rather I told her myself. In this letter, I also told her about all the big important events in my life that were coming in the future: learning how to drive, high school graduation, college life, college graduation, getting a job, getting engaged, getting married, buying a house, and having kids. And I told her how hard it would be to experience all these life events knowing that she wouldn't be there to see and experience them with me. I wrote this letter and put it in her casket the night of her viewing, the Wednesday after she died, the last time I ever physically saw her, even though she didn't look anything like the way I remembered her as my mother.

That was 13 years ago. As I sit on the floor of my bedroom in my own house nostalgically reminiscing over how long ago it was and how short the time has felt, I realize I've experienced almost everything I knew she was going to miss. My dad taught me how to drive in a church parking lot down the street from where we lived on Saturday mornings, and I still drive the same car. I graduated from high school the best I knew how, structuring my own schedule and motivating myself to work. No Ivy League scholar here, but I completed my homework, studied for my tests, and kept my integrity. I breezed through college in three years, made new friends, had ups and downs, and graduated in what felt like a whirlwind. I accepted my first full-time job teaching overseas and moved myself and four bags of belongings halfway across the world for a year.

After moving back, I started dating, got engaged, and got married. The wedding was hard without her. She wasn't the one who came dress shopping with me. She wasn't at the wedding. And she's never met my husband. He and I bought a house together, and she's never seen it. I'm sure she would have hated it and told us over and over again not to buy it. Because that's who my mother was and what she would have said - she would have seen all the ugliness and all the work and money involved and said, "No. Don't buy it." It's true. It was ugly. If you've ever seen the house before or pictures of it, you'll know. It was bad. Not Fixer Upper bad, but bad enough to drive away most sane people. BUT. It gave us the opportunity to leave our own mark, renovate, and call it our own.

Today is extra special in a sad way. My 13 short years with her will always remain 13 short years. I've remembered every year on this day how many years have passed since she died. Today is the beginning of my 14th year without her. This number has never exceeded the number of years I had with her, but now it does, and it always will. It's terrifying and kind of scary to know at such a young age, I've already lived half my life without my mother.

I met a violin teacher this year and she asked me to be her pianist for her student recital. I was happy to take the job and play for her kids. At one of the rehearsals for her recital, she brought her 2.5 year old daughter. I was able to play with her between practices and also watched her by the car when her mom forgot her purse with the keys inside the building and had to retrieve them. When she came back, she said to me, "You would make a really good mother." That meant a lot considering she'd only interacted with me about three times in total.

Now there are no buns warming in the oven yet, and I wouldn't conceal something so exciting into such bittersweet reminiscing. But it's always been my fear. And even greater than the fear of being an unprepared and inadequate mother myself is the fear of my children never knowing their maternal grandmother. What will that be like? I don't know.

I love my life. I really do. I catch myself every now and then feeling the awe and wondering how life became so good for me with a wonderful job, amazing husband, and a beautiful home. Because I remember what it was like to live in constant pain and grief. I remember what it was like to be depressed and feel the never ending sadness from heartaches, just dragging my feet to make it through a day at a time. And I don't feel that anymore. I haven't felt it in many, many years. But I still miss my mother.

Part 5: Airbnb in Hawaii - My Take

Catch up on this series here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

The first time we stayed at an Airbnb, a friend booked it for all of us going out of town for a wedding. I didn't experience the actual booking experience, but I thought the condo was fine. It saved us money and we were able to spend more time with our friends.

We booked Airbnbs for Hawaii mainly to save money. Hawaii, although still part of the US, definitely has an "exotic" feel to it, and with that "exotic" feel, comes steeper prices for things such as hotels. Even the cheaper motels would run about $150 dollars per night. The nicer hotels and resorts ran a minimum of $250-$300 dollars a night. And these are pretax prices! Had we been on our honeymoon or something I think I would have insisted on staying at a nicer resort somewhere. Being a longer trip - 7 nights - we opted for a more frugal route: Airbnb.

This trip was booked only about a month in advance so we had to act fast to even reserve a place on Airbnb. We ended up booking two different locations for our trip: one was closer to the mountains and hiking, and the other was closer to the coast and the water attractions.

Airbnb #1 Facts: private bedroom. shared bathroom. shared living space. breakfast (milk, cereal, tea, coffee). designated parking. wifi. tv. mini fridge in bedroom. towels and toiletries.

Airbnb #2 Facts: private bedroom. private bathroom ensuite. shared living space. street parking. wifi. tv. minimum towels and toiletries.

Airbnb #1 Summary: We really thought the shared bathroom was going to suck staying at this airbnb. I didn't look closely while booking and overlooked the shared bathroom. In my defense, the listing wasn't super clear as to whether the bathroom was private or not. And then I kept thinking we would share the bathroom with the owners of the house. It's actually shared with other tenants in a second bedroom they rent out. After arriving, it just immediately felt like home. Everything was so clean. They were very generous with what they provided: shampoo, conditioner, body wash, sunscreen, toothpaste, floss, hair dryer, lotion, and towels. They were more than accommodating for what we needed, and we're not talking the cheap stuff either. They had Dove body wash and Pantene shampoo. Definitely Costco, but definitely not "cheap".  They also provided extras such as beach chairs and umbrellas as well as beach towels. It also worked in our favor that our first two nights there, we ended up having a private bathroom anyway because the next tenant hadn't arrived yet. In the mornings while eating breakfast, we'd usually chat with the owners and share about our plans for the day and get some feedback from them. It was extra ironic because they had lived in Mckinney for 10+ years and they still visit Dallas about once or twice a year to see family. What are the chances right? When the second tenant arrived, we hardly crossed paths with the shared bathroom. Except for the first night when his TV was turned up super loud, he was very pleasant.

When we left their house halfway through the trip, it was definitely bittersweet. They were a wonderful family to stay with and we really enjoyed our time with them.

Airbnb #2 Summary: Booking this Airbnb was kind of a pain. At first everything was fine, but then the week before our trip, I didn't hear from her for an entire week. Finally, the day before we were heading to her place, she messaged us saying there was going to be a change of plans because the original place we booked needed maintenance and wouldn't be available. So she was going to "upgrade" us to a beachfront condo with the same private bed and bath as reserved. At that point we didn't have much choice so it was fine and we just went with it. Well, I'll never know what the original place we booked was supposed to be like, but the upgrade didn't really feel like much of an upgrade....except that it was beachfront, the kind of beachfront where you walked across the street to the beach, not the kind of beachfront where you step outside onto the beach.

This particular owner was also very finicky with the bills. She posted signs in the kitchen and wrote in her messages on Airbnb multiple times to save electricity/water because the prices were so high. She just gave off a bad vibe of being stingy. And yea, I get that. Being very frugal and conscientious about money myself, I really understand. However, we're on vacation. And as the landlord, you should factor that into your rent. If you see a higher usage trend in water and electricity, you should raise your rates to accommodate.

I really didn't enjoy the second Airbnb we stayed at. It was more than enough for a place to shower and sleep for the night, but I didn't feel relaxed or at ease while staying there.

Specifically for Hawaii, we chose Airbnb because the price couldn't be beat. Airbnb is definitely not for everyone. If you need that private space with higher standards and have the means, get the hotel or resort. However, I will say that staying with the owners of the house was a much more pleasant experience. Having a private bathroom at our first location would have made it so much better, but getting to talk with them and learn about Hawaii from a local standpoint was worth it. I would also definitely read the comments from other Airbnb users about their stay. I went back later and read about the actual second location we stayed at (not the one we originally booked), and many people made comments about it feeling like an investor property whose owner is just doing the minimum to maximize profit - totally true.

All in all, we were grateful to have a place to shower and sleep at night. And the cable TV with Food Network and HGTV helped. :)

Think

One of the more influential classes I took in college was a rhetoric class for my degree plan. It was not an easy class, I did not make an A, and quite frankly the professor and I weren't buddy buddy. (I don't think he was buddy buddy with anyone because of how difficult his class was.) However, I've learned some valuable lessons that have helped me think critically and analyze....everything.

The very first assignment we received in his class was an editing assignment. He handed us a four-page school publication he wanted us to edit. He told us to look through the article and find as many errors as we could. He didn't tell us what kind of errors, how many errors, or what pages to find the errors on. He gave us one week (I think) to work on it and bring back our list of mistakes. The majority of us were quite bewildered and intimidated. Were there 3 errors? 5? 10? I searched long and hard and tried to pull out all my previous writing knowledge to pore over this assignment.

On the due date, we brought back our homework and started asking each other how many errors we found. I had found about 25 I believe and was feeling all right. We turned in our assignments and focused on a different subject for class. The next class, he handed back our assignments, graded. I made a C. My 25 errors merely scratched the surface, and not all of them were even correct. How many errors were there actually? Over 70. I don't remember the exact number anymore, but there were A LOT. He gave us a printed sheet listing every single error in that publication and the reason why it was an error. I definitely thought I was headed for failure.

I think I scraped by with a B+ in his class. Or maybe it was just a B. Honestly, it doesn't matter. I've got my degree and diploma, and nobody ever asks to see them for proof. Sadly I don't remember a whole lot besides this assignment from his class, but the ways in which I apply this critical thinking are innumerable. I look at situations from multiple facets and think before I accept anything at face value. The point of his assignment wasn't to see how knowledgeable our grammar was (although that was part of it, being an English rhetoric class), and honestly it wasn't to see if we could find all the mistakes. I think he intentionally made it that way. The point of this assignment was to teach us to think and pore over each and every word on that publication and question - is something wrong here?

In some ways this just makes me a skeptic. I'm fine with that. I'd rather be the skeptic who overthinks things than the passive person who accepts without question and is duped. There's been one particular news headline for the last few days I'm sure we've all heard and read about by now. I won't mention it specifically, but I haven't said anything about it. Why? Because I read so many different articles, some siding with one side, others siding with the other. I'm not going to pick sides, but I have come to a conclusion about the situation in my own head after reading multiple articles and gathering bits of facts from each one, and we'll leave it there.

As far as I know, the professor still teaches this course at my alma mater. I hope he still gives this assignment (or at least one similar, because I've kind of given away the shock factor here if anyone taking the class currently is clever enough to find this blog...), and I hope his future students remember it just as I do.

And I hope he still brings bagels. The bagels helped.

Hawaii Top 10 List - Part 4

This is part 4 in my mini-blog series. Catch up here: Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. 

Here's my Hawaii Top 10. It's not even close to capturing all the moments we shared while there, but they do encompass a good majority of the highlights. 

10. I didn't have to cook for an entire week.

Now if you know me, you know that I cook almost every day. On any normal given week, I cook at least once 6 out of 7 days. Our menu is usually planned Wednesday - Tuesday to match the weekly ad sales and I plan my work schedule around preparing meals. This does unfortunately mean that sometimes if I'm teaching 3-6 pm straight and dinner needs to be ready around 6:45 pm, we end up eating some easy to pull together meal ( pizza, dumplings, spaghetti, etc.) Sometimes if time allows and I feel like it, I will end up cooking dinner earlier in the day, morning or early afternoon, and essentially reheat it for dinner when the time comes. Being on vacation meant that I didn't have to do any of this! We either had meal spots preplanned, or we pulled out our phones, searched our location on Yelp, and picked a nearby well-rated restaurant. 

9. An 1859 Steinway.

We visited the Baldwin House when we were in Lahaina and there was an 1859 Steinway piano in the front room! No, it's not in any condition to be played. I peeked over the top to look inside at the strings and it was all deteriorated. Pretty sure if any of the keys on the piano were to be pressed, something would break inside...it is 158 years old though. 

A real 1859 steinway piano!

8. Unique Flora

I just couldn't get over how many plants and flowers were unique to Hawaii. Or maybe they're not unique to Hawaii, but I'd never seen them before. They were so extraordinary and beautiful. I'd get left behind many times trying to take a picture of a plant while hiking and he would keep walking without me.

Definitely not your typical succulent.

Heliconia rostrata - Hanging Lobster Claw

7. Coconut Demonstration

She halved the coconut and is showing off the flesh.
Mature coconuts are at the bottom. They're huge!

While we visited a tropical plantation in Maui, our tour included a coconut demonstration. I don't think I ever completely understood what was edible/drinkable in a coconut or what part of it was for what. Here's what I learned:

- Coconuts have this giant shell around it that you have to husk off.
- Young coconuts are for drinking the coconut water. Mature coconuts are for the coconut flesh.
- Coconut milk is made from grating the coconut flesh into shreds and then squeezing the liquid out.
- After halving the coconut, you can either freeze the halves or bake the halves to easily remove the flesh. If you don't do this step, the insides are actually quite hard.
- People die from falling coconuts so it's a state law in Hawaii to keep coconut trees trimmed.

6. Heart

We explored what Jonathan likes to refer to as the "acid war zone" which was around a blowhole on the northwest side of the island. In the middle of this acid war zone was a heart shaped rock. Not sure if someone physically carved this or if it was naturally there...I'm going to assume it was naturally there, but I'm skeptical. But it makes for great photos.

We have got to be the most attractive couple ever when we hike....not.

5. Waterfalls

I love waterfalls and Hawaii definitely has an abundance of them.

4. Haleakala Silversword

These are a species of plant and flower that only grows in the Haleakala volcano at elevations of 6,900 ft and above. As we hiked into the Haleakala crater, we saw a ton of these. From a distance, they look like glitter scattered across the landscape.

The majority of the silverswords that we saw were just the silvery needles that formed little mounds on the ground. You can see those in the background of the photo. The silversword that's blooming was special to see because we only saw two live blooming ones. These plants bloom once in their lifetime, and then the whole plant dies. 

3. Rainbow Eucalyptus Trees

These have got to be the coolest trees ever to grow. Their bark is multicolored! And it's all natural. It really doesn't get any cooler than that. This one was growing off the side of the highway so I made Jonathan stop so I could snap a picture. There were a lot more in this arboretum we stumbled upon on accident, but people were carving their names/initials on the bark of them. It was quite a shame :(

2. Kula Country Farms

I really enjoyed visiting the Kula Country Farms. We went during the wrong season for strawberry picking, but it was still fun to see their plants. Instead of picking strawberries, we just bought a pound from their farmer's market.

They were definitely some of the sweetest strawberries I remember having. They might possibly be THE sweetest, but I really can't remember. Another perk was that they were only $4.00/lb. Costco sold Kula strawberries as well and they were $10.99 for 2 pounds. Sorry Costco, Kula Farms wins on this one.

Here I am next to their giant strawberry board holding one of their strawberries. This picture definitely has a lot of my favorites in it :)

1. We shared our deepest kiss. 

How can I prove it was our deepest kiss? Well, first we have it on video thanks to his GoPro. Second, it was definitely our deepest kiss because it was 130 ft underwater! On our last day in Maui, we booked a submarine adventure and were able to go underwater and see fish, sharks, a sunken ship, coral, and much more marine life. It was a last minute addition to our weeklong adventure, and probably the most expensive, but so worth it. At the very bottom, the guide told those of us with special someones to have our deepest kiss. And we did :)

The captain let me sit in the pilot seat on the way out of the submarine and we took a picture. He's definitely throwing a shaka sign. I was too caught up in the moment of getting to sit in the pilot seat of a submarine to do anything except sit and excitedly smile. I think he thought we were newlyweds in Hawaii on our honeymoon. 2.5 years definitely still counts as newlyweds ;)

Tune in next time for part 5 when I discuss our Airbnb experiences. If you've never used Airbnb before and are curious, it might be helpful to read about our two vastly different Airbnbs.

Why I'm Glad This Trip Wasn't Our Honeymoon - Part 3

If you're just tuning in for the first time, this is the third blog in my Hawai mini-series. You can find part 1 and part 2 to catch up.

1. We went the frugal route and stayed in Airbnbs. We went the extra frugal route and stayed in Airbnbs with shared living spaces (and one had a shared bath). The extra frugal route was still quite expensive, but considering it was Hawaii, you gotta do what you gotta do.

I won't elaborate much about our Airbnbs here since it'll probably show up later in another blog, but yes, Airbnbs don't quite make for romance.

2. 1.5 lb of raw fish is too much to split between two people without rice.

We definitely ate with our eyes and not our heads one evening for dinner. We had looked up a place that sold poke by the pound. Their prices were very reasonable and I was excited to try them. we ended up getting half pounds of three flavors and a half pound of seaweed salad. I forgot to get a picture of one of them before we started eating.

We felt fine after eating dinner and returned back to our Airbnb for the evening. Everything seemed to be fine and we turned in for the night. Well, it was a rough night. I woke up and felt sick. It's a miracle I didn't actually get sick, but for a good hour or so, I thought I had ruined my entire vacation. By the next morning, I was feeling better already so somehow I had escaped the repercussions of my bad choice. 

3. We both got sunburned - his first since 8th grade and my first in over 15 years (I think...).

Quite contrary to what you would think, we did not get sunburned on the beach. We actually got sunburned hiking. The day after our intense hiking trip, we took it easy and spent the following day shopping and exploring the city center. We ended up at one of the malls in Maui and walked around. We were both so sore from the hike and still recovering. Their mall had a drugstore in it and I asked him if we should go find some aloe vera lotion for our sunburns. We passed it once, thought we'd be okay, and then walked back right before leaving because we thought it best to go get some: one of our smartest decisions during the trip. 

4. I put very little effort into dressing up.

Most people would probably book a mani pedi before going to Hawaii because everyone's first instinct is to think: beach! I definitely did not. I did put in the extra effort to paint my nails using my 10 year old nail polish (does nail polish even last that long? oops.) that probably cost less than $5 - clearance OPI! When I was flipping through some travel magazines at the airport, I was laughing to myself because of all the ads I saw for getting your hair/makeup/nails done to look nice for your trip. Good marketing strategy and they probably get good business from those tourists, but I am not one to succumb. Unlike our honeymoon when I actually tried to bring all my "very beautiful clothing" as my student's in China would have said, I chose the pragmatic, efficient route of shirts, shorts, and hiking wear this time.

Although I'm glad this trip wasn't our honeymoon, it does not mean that I didn't enjoy it and share lots of great memories with Jonathan. You'll have to come back next time and read part 4: Why this trip was seriously memorable and enjoyable.