Life Lessons from a Nine-Year-Old

I was at a party just making small talk with the people around me a while back. About halfway through, one of the guests finally made it with his son. There was a basketball game that night so they arrived late. As the boy walked over, I said hi and asked him, "Did you win your game?"

I actually don't remember whether he won the game or not, but I do remember what he tacked onto his response: "Why does everyone ask me that?"

Now that was a question which made me stop and think. Why was I asking him that? I realized my question was formulated out of a natural response to want to know the outcome of the game - did you win or did you lose? But it also made me realize that by asking this question first, I had inadvertently moved the focus onto the result of the game rather than other more important things: sportsmanship, fun, skill, etc. We all tend to do that, don't we? Caring more about the result than the journey.

His question is very legitimate. And it's true, I do not want to instill the wrong idea that winning is always the end goal of every competition, contest, or race. Instead, I should have asked him, "Did you have fun at your game?" "Did you play well/do your best?" "Did you enjoy playing with your friends/teammates?" Those are much more lasting impressions than simply winning a game in itself.

This nine-year-old reminded me of an important aspect of life that I (and perhaps we collectively as a whole) tend to forget. Rarely is it ever simply about winning the game.

Screen Time

It is officially the 1st of November, and having been a quite warm Halloween evening last night, I am ready for lower temperatures and no longer hearing my AC unit kick on. Now the screen time I'm referencing is not looking at a computer/Ipad/phone. We do have a little bit of that, but I'm talking about something else: our window screens!

This weekend, we decided to do another little DIY project. We actually attempted this project a little under two months ago and failed miserably because the Home Depot we went to was completely understocked and depleted of window screening materials. It was a big flop, although we did repair one of our existing screens by reusing what we already had.

The project we meant to attempt was creating two completely brand new screens for two windows which did not have screens when we bought the house. No idea how that happens, but with this house, we learned not to ask the "why" questions. In order to make new screens, we needed some materials and tools:

Window Screen, sold in rolls


Window Screen Frame


Window Screen Corner Frames


Window Screen Clips


Window Screen Pull Tabs


Window Spline


Spline Roller


Hacksaw


Utility Knife


Measuring tape and scissors. Of course we all know what measuring tape and scissors look like, so I don't think I need to identify that for anyone :) Safety glasses might be good to have, although nothing went violently flying for this project, but I don't want to say you don't need them because there is some cutting involved.

Needless to say, what we thought was an easy, beginner level DIY that we thought could be accomplished in an evening....took a little longer than we thought. The first screen we made ended up taking over 2 hours to finish. The second one, we finished in about 1 hour. I guess we should have known, however easy something is to do, the first time is always going to take longer. And a key note I should always remember: messing up is easier than doing it correctly.

If you want to learn how to make a window screen, you can check out this link here that has a nice video. A few things this video does not include instructions on : springs and pull tabs.

From the outside. You can see the wavy mesh material of our screen!
And if you can't...well, it blends in pretty well because it's the right size to fit :) 

Our newly screened window that can now be
opened to allow our living room to breathe a little :)

I'm excited for this fall and winter because it means I can now open two of the largest windows in our house to allow for some outdoor air to penetrate into our once extremely musty (now only slightly musty) house. We missed out big time last year, but now we have no excuse :)

Total Cost: $25
Total Time Spent: 3 hours
Total Experience Gained: Priceless

Gardenias: Pt 2

Two weeks ago, I posted about my flowers for the first time. You can read that post here. I've definitely babied my flowers these last two weeks, carefully pruning off dead leaves and branches as well as making sure they're receiving ample sunlight and enough water.

I'm proud to say that they are both doing great. Here's a look at the baby plant:

Before

After 2 weeks

I've taken off all the dead brown leaves and left everything very clear. As you can see, there are lots of leaves sprouting and slowly filling out the plant. Hard to believe this little guy was a $1 steal. I'm very excited for his future :) 

Before

After 2 weeks

This plant fared a lot better in the before picture than the little baby one. So the pictures don't quite do justice for how much this plant has actually thrived. Honestly, the plant looks to be about the same density in both the before and after, but if you'll notice, the brown leaves are gone. So actually it's more dense now with healthy growth. You can't tell from the picture, but there are multiple buds forming on this plant. In another 2 weeks or so, I might be seeing some Gardenias blossom. This $3 find is going to turn into a $15 bush in no time. I'm excited! 

Hope you stay tuned to see the first blooms. :) 

5 Ways to Save Money to Reach Your Goals

We ended up buying our first house before both of our quarter century birthdays for a multitude of reasons (timing, situation, market/economy, etc). But we also lived a lifestyle that enabled us with the means to do so. Also, I had set this goal for myself as a teenager in high school. My junior year English teacher shared with us about how her daughter was getting married and had bought her first house, paying for the whole down payment by herself. After hearing that, I made that my mental goal. Every choice I made, financially, was with this goal in mind - I am saving for a house. In college, it meant not lavishing my dorm room or apartment with decor. As an adult, it meant staying in Friday and Saturday nights instead of going out on the town. That's not to say I didn't enjoy my life or circumstances. I did, perhaps not as much as I could have, but well enough with my goals.

Buzzfeed posted an article earlier this week entitled "17 things Millennials Should Stop Wasting Money On So They Can Buy A House Instead." The article was pretty much just click-bait because it did not deliver what the title implied. So instead, I'm posting a counter article on not just things to buy but ideas to promote for a mindset of saving for big goals, not exclusive to house-buying.

5 Ways to Save Money to Reach Your Goals

1. Make Lemonade.

Literally, make homemade lemonade rather than buying it from the store. It's so easy and probably better for you, even with the sugar it contains. This also represents the bigger picture of making something yourself rather than buying it. Don't know how? Learn! Here's my lemonade recipe, described by one of my friends as "phenomenal" enough for her to miss while leaving the country for a short while :) If you make it yourself, tell me how you like it!

Ingredients:

- 1 cup sugar
- 1 cup lemon juice (bottled is fine)
- 7 1/2 cups water

Combine all ingredients in a bottle and shake well to mix.

2. Mind > Eyes

See a beautiful dress in the window while shopping that you just have to have for your next wedding? See an aisle full of snacks on sale at the grocery store? Don't buy it! Let your mind be bigger than your eyes. Don't let your eyes control your spending. You'll thank yourself later once you're able to make that big purchase.

3. Treat Your Savings Account Right

Savings accounts at the bank are meant to do just that - be savings. Don't check your accounts and be fooled at how much you have. If you're saving for a big purchase, the number you see is not the amount of money you can spend.

4. Don't Get Discouraged

One of the biggest shortfalls of saving I hear is a version of "I don't have enough yet....it's going to take forever to get there...forget it, I'm going to get this instead now." Clearly those with this mindset would fail the marshmallow test as an adult. Something is always better than nothing. If your goal is truly your goal, keep going.

5. Eat Out Less

I love cooking, but I wasn't always good at it. I'm still not the greatest cook in the world, but I do it very often. In any given month, we can count the number of times we eat out on one hand. There are always exceptions, but we definitely do not casually eat out. In doing this as a frugality, it has also helped me to realize the privilege it truly is to dine out and be served by waiters and waitresses. It becomes an experience rather than simply a meal, and I'm not talking about going to the fancy Michelin star restaurants either. Going to any restaurant that involves wait staff can become an experience when valued. Food, in my opinion, is the easiest way to save on the budget. It's the perspective to do the cooking yourself that is hard to reach.

What I've shared here are ways that I personally have done to achieve my goal of buying a house early in life. Obviously, if you don't have a savings goal in mind, you probably won't view your money in the same way, and that's fine. If you have the luxury of being able to spend freely without thinking of a major purchase in your future, that's great.

Hopefully, if you are looking to make a major purchase, you found this much more helpful than the Buzzfeed article. I'm always advocating for friends as neighbors in our lovely neighborhood (that is SO difficult to get into because everyone who's in stays...)

Happy Saving!

Gardenias

My love of plants and nature started early. I am by no means a Master Gardener, but I do enjoy spending time outdoors, taking care of plants, and watching things grow. As a child, I enjoyed coming home after school and spending nearly an hour outside watering the yard by hand. We planted tomatoes for fun one year, and I would water them everyday. I did make the unfortunate mistake of sprinkling too much fertilizer on them because I didn't understand that fertilizer was essentially poison in massive amounts. So the tomato plants that grew did wonderfully. And the ones that got too much fertilizer...died. Of course, gardening and taking care of plants takes an immense amount of work, and that didn't last too long for a teenager.

I did also compost in a 5-gallon bucket as a child. I put dead leaves and grass and a bunch of random things in a bucket and filled it with water. And then I left it there for years and years and years in our backyard on the patio, filling it with water every now and then. I think my dad finally realized one day that he needed his bucket so he dumped everything out and took his bucket back. What he dumped out though was a nice hunk of composted soil, perhaps a little too dry from lack of care, but it was compost.

Last night, Jonathan and I went to Lowe's just to walk around and take a peek at their plants. We browsed the clearance shelves and came across some bargain finds. Of course, with bargain prices come brown leaves and "seemingly lifeless" plants. However, with my love of plants and growing nature, I committed to reviving some plants with great potential. Here's what we found.

This larger friend was $3. He's got some good
green leaves and great potential. You can't tell from the
picture but there's small buds coming
out of the bottom. He has so much potential.

This little friend was $1. I know he's not the prettiest
plant in the pack, but he has potential! I see it in the baby
branches emerging.

They're gardenia plants. I absolutely love gardenias. The smell brings me back to my childhood when we used to go to my grandparent's house and I would cut the flowers off when they bloomed and put them into vases. Right now they're chilling on our back patio because they need partial shade. I'm hoping they can still grow with slightly less sunlight because the location I want to plant them is almost full shade. Of course, different sources say different amounts of sunlight, and a variety of people have had success growing in different locations, so, I won't know until I put it in. But I want to freshen them up first before transplanting. 

Ideally, I wanted azaleas to plant in my shady location, but once again, the different websites and plant tags say different amounts of sunlight requirements. So rather than taking a $30 risk, I went with the $4 risk. I actually want to plant Japanese Astilbe, but nurseries don't have any in season right now so I will wait until spring for that one.

Jonathan also found a nice bargain find last night. He got himself a cute little $4 succulent basket for his office.

What a cutie.

Unlike me, his little succulent basket will be much easier to maintain than my gardenias that need to be revived. But we'll see.

Stay tuned for future pictures and updates on my gardenia plants!

Gas Lights and Garters

My gas light came on this morning on my way to work. I just stared at it for a while as I waited as a red light. It's been a long time since I've let the tank get low enough for the light to turn on. The last time I definitively remember the gas light coming on was the evening of my junior homecoming.

We drove all over that night. I drove to the restaurant, and then we went to the mall next door to take photos and then to our high school for the dance. After that, I drove back home to surprise my date with the garter I ended up making him even though we had said we weren't doing the mums and garters. (But I had bought one for myself anyway because I thought they were so pretty and wanted one.) And then I drove to our church where we hung out with a campfire, which resulted in the police coming and telling us we couldn't have the fire anymore, which kind of fizzled the rest of the evening out. And then I drove my date home because he couldn't drive yet, and then drove home. And somewhere between all those trips through Plano and Frisco, my gas light came on, I freaked out a little, and then decided I could make it through the rest of the evening. Quite gutsy of me...

My junior homecoming mum

A year or two prior to my first homecoming as a junior, an older friend at church was making his date a mum after our Friday night fellowsip. His parents were there, and most of the youth stayed around to socialize and watch. I knew his parents, and his mom turned to me and said in Chinese, "Oh yeah, these aren't that hard to make. Cathy, you know how to make these right?" And I shyly nodded my head, even though I had never made one before. In theory, it just looked so easy, but I didn't have any hands-on experience.

My junior date's garter was the first time I had ever made one myself. I was young and naive at the time, and I hadn't a clue where to start, so I fell for the "pre-made backing" and paid about $15 for that piece to start with. Little did I know it cost less than $10 to make and wasn't even that difficult.

The garter I made for my date - junior year.

It's not the most impressive homecoming garter, but for a 17-year-old who tried her hands at a first-time DIY, it's not bad.

For my senior homecoming the year after, my date and I agreed not to do mums and garters as well. Again, I really wanted one, because you know, it was a white and silver one instead of maroon and white, so it would definitely look better on a mum and I just had to have one. But instead of buying one from the drill team mothers, I made my own. I went out and bought all the materials and taught myself how to make the military braids (Which they now sell for $7.99 each! Proposterous for mere yardage of cheap ribbon.) I like it better than my junior mum, but I think that's my own personal bias because I made it myself.

My senior mum which I made by hand. I
think it looks much more impressive than the one
I bought the previous year. Notice that military braid?
Yup, handmade!

Coincidentally, I am making garters with the girls I disciple tonight in place of our normal studies. I really wanted to encourage them to make their own garters instead of paying to outsource it for a number a reasons.

1. I want to challenge them to be able to take on a task that seems great at first and to work through it, especially when the stakes are still low. There's going to be a lot of things in their future that might seem like giant hurdles. And it's true, some of them are hurdles you may not want to attempt or are best left alone. But there are others that might be worthwhile, you try to attempt, and you fail, and that's okay. And then there are the rest that you try to attempt, succeed, and leave with a sense of empowerment knowing you did something and proved yourself wrong, in a good way.

2. I want to teach them to use their resources wisely. Personally, my opinion is that the homecoming marketing is ridiculous, and I don't believe it wise to spend hundreds of dollars on a mum or garter. However, I do believe that it is more special to spend more time on something handmade to give to your homecoming date, especially if you're actually dating the person and he/she is more than just a friend.

3. Their mentor happens to be me, and I love making mums and garters, so I would like to share my knowledge and expertise with them to help them make it and teach them something new at the same time. Also, when she can make mums that actually look good, how can you go wrong? :)

I'll have to ask them later for their opinions of my theory and process behind this and their overall experience. Perhaps they'll let me share with you after. :)

The Perfect Hard-Boiled Eggs

I can't remember anymore how I discovered this or who did it for the first time, but it was in China where I realized the secret to a perfect hard-boiled egg. Let's first define the perfect hard-boiled egg.

1. The shell has to peel easily. If the thin membrane underneath sticks even the slightest bit, you're going to lose part of your precious egg white. Or a lot of it.
2. There has to be no gray ring on the very edge of the egg yolk on the inside. If there is, you've overcooked it. Now, I know, for us Asians, there are many wonderful recipes out there for tea eggs and seasoned hard boiled eggs in stews, and you will see the gray ring in it. And that's just due to an extended amount of cooking time that the recipe calls for. And that's fine. But that's not what I'm talking about here.
3. The egg yolk is completely cooked through and opaque, not translucent. So we're not soft-boiling here. 

If you do a Google search or ask chefs or well-seasoned mothers, they'll tell you the tricks of timing it perfectly. They'll tell you to add vinegar to the water to make the shells peel easier. They'll tell you to dunk the eggs into ice as soon as you're done to stop the cooking immediately. They'll tell you to remove the pot off the stove and let it sit for x amount of time. But see, all these things require a very precise timing. Nobody tells you how to cook an egg in a kettle unless you ask them specifically about using a kettle.

When I was living in China, I discovered hard-boiling my eggs in my tea kettle. Here's the secret.
First, put however many eggs you want or can fit into a tea kettle with the automatic shut-off feature. This is key that it has the automatic shut-off feature.
Second, fill the kettle with enough water that all the eggs are submerged.
Third, flip the switch and boil the water.
Fourth, after the water boils (which is about 2-3 minutes), let the eggs sit in the water for at least 10 minutes. Anything longer than that is fine, AND, you will not develop the gray ring.

My five little eggs nesting after the boil.

You see, the reason why cooking hard-boiled eggs in the tea kettle is so much easier in my opinion than other techniques is that

a. you don't need to add vinegar to make it peel easily
b. you don't need to do any special timing methods. Once it's in, it's in.
c. If you have at least 13 minutes to wait, you're golden. If you have more than 13 minutes to wait, it won't ruin them either.

This came in handy last Sunday because Jonathan and I woke up earlier than normal for church. We had a good 30 - 40 minutes before we had to leave the house. So I suggested going out on a walk to enjoy the cooler weather. However, I also wanted to eat something decent for once in the morning instead of going to church on an empty stomach like we normally do. Conveniently enough, I popped three eggs into our kettle, filled it with water, and flipped the switch. We went out and took a stroll around our neighborhood for about 15-20 minutes. After coming back, I scooped the eggs out of the kettle, rinsed them under cold tap water to cool so I could eat it, and we had breakfast.

I will say, the one risk to doing this is that every now and then, I would say probably less than 10% of the time, you may end up having an egg explode in the kettle during the boiling process. This is more likely to happen if the egg already has signs of cracks along the shell (not actually cracked though). In my time in China, this happened once. The fortunate part is everything is cooked, so you just have to wash your kettle out.

Yolks cooked all the way through. No gray ring.

There really is no gray ring.

That's my secret to perfect hard-boiled eggs. :)